*All of our episode recaps contain spoilers*
A contradiction in terms, Emily is both an arsonist and a fire extinguisher. Throughout the series we have watched her play with – or more accurately set – fires and for the greater part remain unscathed, having lit the matches in a controlled environment. We have also watched her soul burn, as she was forced to put out the fires of her adversaries. But this time was different. This time, the flame came from Hell and the Devil takes no survivors.
Last episode we saw Victoria reclaim her throne (and no, I’m not being metaphorical this time. She literally bought back her favourite chair), turn the gas on at Grayson Manor and spark a lighter. Yes, Hamptons finest committed suicide and managed to taint the concept of poetic justice in the process. Many were left unconvinced by Victoria’s death but today’s episode confirmed she is in fact deceased. But before we commemorate Victoria and her spectacular departure, let us first pay our respects to another death in the Revenge family - Nolan’s love life. After many a resurrection, it was destroyed yet again. Though, this time was more manslaughter than cold blooded murder. Never one to take heed of relationship stages, Nolan, with Emily’s blessing, invited Tony on holiday. It was all rainbows and unicorns until Tony told Nolan that he was going to become a father. He started the adoption proceedings some time ago and was told it may take months or even years before he could expect a child. Nolan, poor naïve Nolan, did not realise that this disclosure was Tony’s attempt of ending the relationship and he pulled out his Ken and Ken dolls. Tony quickly cut play time short and told Nolan that he had to devote his attention to his son and for that reason they could not be together. I was ready with my dustpan and spade for Nolan’s broken heart but I couldn’t take my eyes off the vein in Tony’s forehead. The last time I saw a vein that big, it was Thanksgiving and Monica was scolding Joey’s head.
On the subject of friends, this comradeship between Margaux and Louise is making the veins in my head pop out. Louise’s greatest contribution to the show to date has been nothing and in an attempt to redeem the character, the writers appear to have given her a sixth sense. She can just feel that something is not right. Even after having read Victoria’s suicide note (which was addressed only to Margaux, take a hint!), she was like a dog with a bone. But she got her bone and then some, when she ‘chanced upon’ a forced door and blood in Victoria’s apartment. With Victoria’s plan now set in motion, Thelma and Louise were left to confront Emily at the beach club and use their media outlets to quash their guilt. So, all in all, they did nothing.
If only Emily had that luxury. Instead, she had to try to step on a bug after he crawled out from under his rock. The rock she mistakenly lifted when she did her TV tell-all. In return for his silence, Treadwell told Emily that he wanted her to clear his name or else he would release the first fifty pages of the book he is writing. Desperate for a happy ending, Emily enlists Nolan to fabricate a paper trail from Conrad to his lawyer which proves Conrad killed Gordon Murphy and framed Mason. Once this is in her possession, she visits the Department of Justice where she gives them a fireproof box containing the manufactured documents. She makes lemonade from lemons and tells the woman, had it not been for the fire, she would never have found this box. Child’s play. Mason is innocent, a dead man’s grave is figuratively spat on and Emily is safe.
Safe long enough to be informed that Victoria’s death is now being treated as a homicide. Emily is called into the police station because “when someone you openly hate dies in your house, it’s also a little suspicious”. Having woven a tangled weave, she tries to use the bug she squashed earlier as an alibi but when she calls him, his phone is disconnected. Unable to reach his rock, her hope hangs on the fingerprints he left in her car and so she gives Ben her car keys. Also under suspicion is Jack, who got called into the station because Ben has the maturity level of a child. But if not for his scorned lover attitude, Jack would never have found out that Emily went to the airport to stop him. And if not for that, we would never have seen the cutest smile ever! The revelations don’t stop there. Emily overhears two officers talking about David being at Suffolk Memorial the night Victoria died. She confronts him and he tells her that he is suffering from lymphoma. They share a heartfelt moment and a happy ending peeks over their heads. Yet it clearly realises it’s in the wrong show and disappears as quickly as it came.
Do you know what else its departure means? Yes, the time has come to honour Victoria! Back at the beach house, Emily receives a call from Mason who has a message to pass on from the grave. It is a video from Victoria in which she declares she is ending their game of revenge. She is going to frame Emily for murder, just as Emily intended doing on her wedding night. The difference? Victoria had the guts to actually kill herself. So, please bow your heads and give a moment of silence to this brilliant but sick woman. And keep them bowed an instant longer for Mason Treadwell, who must be recognised for his role of planting Victoria’s hair and blood in Emily’s car. Now lift them up quickly and pray for Emily!