*All of our episode recaps contain spoilers*
When you love someone, you let a lot of things slide. For that reason, I am going to let the unnecessary dance recital at the start of the episode go and move on to the more important things, namely the return of Mona.
Dressed all in black, sunglasses included, our favourite madwoman looked akin to a mourner and spoke like one as well. With her lie now in the open, she is fretfully awaiting a revenge plot from Alison and an indictment from the police. Did irony happen to grow a hand in the last week? I think a resurrection causing fear for one’s life is worthy of a slap. No? I suppose the wrath of Leslie will have to suffice. Summoned by the police, we were graced with the fiery redhead’s presence as she is considered an accomplice to the crime.
She was locked and loaded for a fight, but I must say, her ammo was disappointing. “Conniving little bitch”? “You bag of hair”? Oh Leslie, creativity isn’t your strong suit is it? Neither is intimidation, so please refrain from warnings of ‘payback’ in the future.
In happier news, Spence got a ‘pity-toss’ (her words, not mine). If she would put her pot cookies down for one second, she might be able to catch it –‘it’ being the honour of Valedictorian. Since receiving the sweet treats, she has been constantly stoned and very horny (not that we needed to know). High or sober, she never fails to put her two cents in and she told Hanna to stay out of the Leslie-Mona debacle. Outraged by the absurdity of the request, Hanna replied “We can’t have Mona quaking in her boots when we need those boots to kick down the doors as Radley”. Is it me or is she surpassing Spencer in the command of the English language? Seriously, if I took a shot every time Hanna said an amazing one-liner, I would be as buzzed as Spencer.
Now, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Spencer is on the road to recovery. Not only did she attend an NA meeting, she gave the remainder of her pot cookies to Dean to throw away. The bad news is Ezria related. There has been much uncertainty with regard to their relationship status and I can now confirm that they are not together. Clark persuaded Aria into going on a junkyard photography trip, and taking advantage of the romantic settings, he asked her to dinner. She told him she wasn’t dating at the moment, and when she vaguely referenced the events of the last year, he mentioned that he recognised her from the news. Before you accuse her of giving mixed signals, it wasn’t his charm that persuaded her to go but the mentioning of a contest - specifically a cash prize, summer internship at an LA magazine contest. Witness to the rejection was A, who followed Aria to the junkyard, and we have proof! A photobombed one of Clark’s photos and it seems he is actually a she.
Before we delve further into all things A, let us first go to the other A in Rosewood – Alison. There is nothing quite like an insult in the morning and Ali can attest to the fact. She overheard one of Rosewoods finest dissing her (do people still say that?), and when she told her father, his loving response was “You have to own it. Bad behaviour has a way of catching up on you”. Who let Mr. DiLaurentis on this high horse? And will someone please get him off. I would ask Lorenzo, but he is too busy trying to win Ali’s heart. In a romantic gesture, he got the cop who insulted Ali to trade shifts with another officer; and with love in the air, the two shared a kiss. Sadly, it was brought to an end by the return of Kenneth, who I am officially naming ‘Moment killer’.
Speaking of love in the air, there is definitely something between Emily and Sara. When Sara told Emily her mom wanted her to come home, the rest of season six flashed before my eyes. It was Sara free and it was beautiful. Evidently Emily saw otherwise as she proposed that Sara legally emancipate herself. Damn it Emily, we were so close. They enlisted Caleb’s expertise, although Sara seemed beyond help. That is, until Caleb employed her at his ‘web design company’ on minimum wage; a decision prompted by Emily jumping down his throat when he suggested Sara “go home and wait it out”. To celebrate, the duo got tattoos. Sara got a bird cage with the bird flying away (if only) and Emily got the Chinese character for courage. Whilst Emily was getting her tattoo, she received a text from Aria regarding A’s gender. Privacy being non-existent in Rosewood, Sara read the message and worked herself into a state of (fake) panic. She interpreted her ignorance about the girls search for A as a betrayal rather than protection. This girl is too much hard work Emily, cut the apron strings!
Okay, it is finally A time! In an effort to find more information on Charles, Spencer and Hanna went to Radley. Their search proved more fruitful than expected, as the duo found themselves in the room from Spencer’s nightmare. Much to Hanna’s dismay, Charles’s death was confirmed. As Spencer so tactfully stated “You can’t donate your heart, liver and both kidneys and still play boggle in the Radley rec room”. In her agitated state, Hanna knocked over a box of files into one of the bathtubs, which in turned caused a body to float to the surface. Relax, relax; it was just a Resusci Anne doll. Actually, don’t relax completely because I think I saw another body in there! A noise elsewhere in the psychiatric facility triggered flight and fight mode in the girls Armed with a crutch, they cornered the noise maker and, lo and behold, it was Mona! But wait, there’s more.
Are you sitting down? Okay. Mona broke into Radley to steal none other than Leslie Stone’s file! Kudos to Hanna who called it earlier in the episode – “Leslie is a freaking lunatic”. I’m telling you, this girl is on a roll. Not only was Leslie at Radley long enough to have met Charles, she also shared a room with Bethany Young! Spencer’s theory is that “Leslie must think that we helped Ali kill Bethany that night and then dumped her body in that pit”. As for why she would hide behind Charles’s name, our detective thinks that “maybe she was just as close to Charles as she was to Bethany”. The pieces of this Leslie puzzle are falling in to place much too quickly, and when did anything ever come easy in this show? So as much as I trust you Spence, I am not following you down this misleading path. I am staying firmly rooted in my uncertainty.
Needless to say, Leslie was not too happy with Mona. “Damn it, damn it, damn it! I asked you to do one thing Mona, one freaking thing and you screwed it up. You screwed it up for me. You always screw everything up”. Okay, we get it; she screwed it up – jheeeez.
Update on the status of A: He/she/It is making a mini Aria wig, pink hair included.