*All of our episode recaps contain spoilers*
No Sara, a logical Spencer, TWO present parents and a sassy Hanna? Oh Pretty Little Liars, you do spoil us so. If only your generosity extended to answers; I might be able to sleep at night without dreaming Marlene King is A, Hanna would be able to get through a conversation without verbally beheading someone, and Ali would be in reality with the rest of us.
As it is, she is unable to comprehend that ‘A’ and her brother are one and the same person. “We had birthday cake, that day at the arcade when Jason and I met him. Charles gave me his frosting. How does that turn into vicious?” I don’t know Alison. I guess not every individual who shares frosting as a child grows up to be a good person. This is sure to disturb the scientific world, just as Hanna disturbed the peace. Unlike the other girls, she was unwilling to indulge Ali. She silenced each Liar one by one, leaving the most deluded till last. “I’m sorry Alison. I know this must really suck for you, but I’m not going to sit here and help you give A the benefit of the doubt. I hope the police catch him because there is nothing they could do to him that’s worse than what he did to us”. Such a badass.
Anyway, need someone remind Ali that this ‘unflattering’ coverage of her brother is owing to her big mouth? Had she refrained from calling the police, A’s antics would not be breaking news; nor would his capture be entrusted in the less than capable hands of the Rosewood PD. Luckily, the town’s more skilled detectives – Spencer and Hanna – are still working the case. Following their hunch that Mama D gave money to the Carissimi group to support an abandoned Charles, the two organised an appointment to return the scholarship.
They met with a ‘Rhys Matthews’, who revealed that the company prefers to offer scholarships selectively, with most of the candidates recommended through personal connections. He alluded to Mr. Carissimi, but the explicit naming of his employer by Spencer prompted him to become more guarded. He responded to their request of contact details by telling them he would talk to his employer during their weekly conference call. So, to sum up; Hanna no longer has tuition money and we are none the wiser as to the source of the scholarship. Good work guys! What we do have is a photo of Rhys, or rather, photographic proof that there may be a long-lost DiLaurentis. He did bear a striking resemblance to Jason…and he was as unlikable as Kenneth…but as I said, I think Marlene is A, so what do I know?
We were back to Ella on our ‘Montgomery – making an appearance’ rota, and in a turn of events, her time on screen wasn’t completely pointless. A gallery show was being held to honour the work of the competition finalists, and Mama M forbade Aria from attending. With Spencer and Hanna otherwise occupied, there was no one to stop Aria from enlisting the help of bad luck Tanner. She promised Ella that she would station officers at the site, telling her “I wouldn’t agree to it if I felt there was risk involved. We’re moving towards a resolution Mrs Montgomery”. As far as I am aware, the only work she has done since arriving in Rosewood has been on my last nerve.
Quick poll: Which friendship is more adorable? ‘A’ and Red Coat or Aria and Emily? I do love Emia, but ‘A’ and Red Coat looked so damn cute watching security footage of the gallery. I don’t want to say I told you so, but I did mention that Tanner was bad luck.
In a rare moment of normality, Aria and Emily bonded over their upcoming prom. Aria asked Em to be her prom buddy, to which Emily responded ‘I think I might want to slow dance with somebody else’. There you go girls – a new prom rejection. Don’t say the series never gives you anything! Whether the guy will take it as well as Aria, I cannot say; but unless you’re turning him down for a Sara equivalent, he has no reason to complain.
Or, if that rejection doesn’t take your fancy, you can hope that a third party will appear before you can answer. This gem is Ezra’s. Before he could respond to Aria’s friendly invitation to prom, Nicole materialised, making an already awkward situation even worse. It was so unbearable that Aria chose to talk to Clark rather than remain a second longer. When the two met again later, Ezra told Aria that Nicole’s presence was purely platonic. My heart wants to believe that, but my head just can’t. Damn the two and their incompatibility.
If they made as good a team as A and Red coat, life would be so much easier. Speaking of the devilish duo, they went all out in their latest plan. When the time came to review the finalists’ work, the attendants were treated to A’s photographical prowess rather than Aria’s. In keeping with the creepy theme, A replaced her photos with pictures of the girls lying on the dollhouse morgue tables. He entitled his collection ‘Stolen Dolls’, with a message for Tanner written beneath – No Son Lindas. Tanner explained to Aria and Mama M that the phrase can have two meanings; its direct translation is ‘they aren’t pretty’, but in this case it means ‘they aren’t Lindas’. She told them, “I grew up in a bilingual household. I think Charles wants me to know that as much as I uncover about his identity, he can uncover details about mine”. Say what you will about Charles, but he does bring out the best in people on occasion. Now we know Tanner has somewhat of a brain!
Ali chose to hide out at Lorenzo’s apartment, and so she missed out on all the excitement. Loverboy did a little snooping of his own and he found out that Tanner called in a profiler. He also found out that Kenneth is cooperating without an attorney. His news transformed Ali from a doting care-giver to a devious delinquent, and when the moment arose, she stole Lorenzo’s police ID.
Sadly, she has lost her touch. Within moments of breaking into the precinct, she was caught by Tanner. The two had a candid discussion about Charles, putting forth theories as to why he stole his family’s personal effects. Safe from Hanna and the threat of another tongue lashing, Ali said “Maybe he feels bad about trying to hurt me when I was a kid. Maybe part of him wants to stay connected to the family”. Tanner responded calmly to her naivety, telling her “In my experience, murderers can be as sentimental as mothers. Personal items can help focus them on their victims or commemorate what they’ve done”. If Charles had not awakened her brain earlier, would we be having such a rational argument from her side? I think not. Needless to say, Lorenzo and Ali had a lovers tiff. As if a broken arm wasn’t bad enough, now he has a broken heart. Poor guy.
Poor Ella! Each parent was sent an email by the school principle expressing safety concerns over the girls’ presence at prom. That, coupled with the gallery show, left her troubled and teary eyed as she went to visit Mama Marin. She told Ashley “The police are not doing enough. We need to do something. But what can we do. We have to protect our girls”, unaware that Red Coat was watching from outside.
I don’t know what the parents can do, but the girls are doing everything they can. Spencer, Hanna and Emily saw Rhys outside the gallery show venue and followed him to an abandoned doll factory. While Aria endured a second rejection, Hanna and Spencer updated Emily on the ‘big elaborate black hoody’ that is the Carissimi group. Hanna showed Emily the picture of Rhys, which led her to question why Hanna had a photo of Jason on her phone. Come on writers; I know they look similar and kudos on the casting, but that is overkill. The trio stayed long enough to see Clark arrive. That’s right – Clark! I knew that guy was shady. As for Rhys; CTV footage from the gallery showed a man swapping Aria’s photos with another set. We did not see his face, but only two people have such ‘perfect hair’ – Jason and Rhys.
Status update on A – He is going to prom and Red Coat is his date!