*All of our episode recaps contain spoilers*
“Though there was catastrophic physical trauma, the decedent’s mother was able to identify him by the clothing he had been wearing.”
Forgive me, but I must call attention to the idiocy of the opening scene. If you saw a blood splattered Emma walking akin to a zombie, would you place a consoling hand on her shoulder and stroll casually in the direction from which she came? No. You would be panic stricken. You would question her as to the source of the blood. You would run, or at least speed walk, to the point she had just left. How am I supposed to recover from Will’s death with scenes like this? Huh?
According to the doctors, it is a miracle that the knife missed Weasel’s major organs; but we know no such thing exists in the slasher genre. He woke to the face of Noah, who paid a visit so he could witness a silent Jake. I am sure his appearance was also motivated by concern, but not many would pass up a chance to experience the former. In case you were wondering, I referred to him as Jake because he was so heartbroken upon hearing of Will’s death that I decided to extend the courtesy of calling him by his actual name. But it was a onetime thing.
An evil befell me this episode – I agreed with Hud about something. On the bidding of Brooke, Piper gave the sheriff the time stamped footage of the mayor moving a body. She insinuated he was guilty of the latest slayings by presenting the following evidence: the two who hacked his security system are now dead, the one who gave her this footage and blackmailed the mayor just died, and the other is lucky to be alive. She also told the sheriff about Will’s meeting with the mayor and the arrival of the killer. I admit, it does not look good, but like Hud, “I don’t believe Quinn Maddox could have done all this.” Nevertheless, he was brought in for questioning because he is undeniably moving a body. A phone call to ‘Pleasant Roads rehab’ in Phoenix confirmed that the body is not Brooke’s mom, so whose is it?
I’ve gone from swooning every time Kieran comes on the screen to cringing. Any ill-feeling between him and Emma was forgotten as he hugged her and offered her the solace of his support. Emma thanked him for not asking anything; not that he needed to, seeing as he was the one who masterminded the whole thing. Yes, I know; I’m like a dog with a bone. Emma was prescribed anti-depressants to help her sleep and to take the edge off, but the edge was still very much on. She kept imagining a split in half Will, and each hallucination was scarier than the last. In one, Will held out a heart in his hand and then squeezed it to a pulp. In another, he gave Emma a heart shaped keyring. Audrey and Noah caught her self-diagnosing on the internet, and Noah warned her that internet diagnosis always leads to schizophrenia or something terminal. She opened up to the duo ever so slightly, but tact is not, unsurprisingly, Noah’s strong suit, and she shut right back down again.
Hud finally got a location on Kevin, and we found out that he was working on an oil rig, but took some time off three weeks ago - the same time Marg received a pig’s heart. What’s more, Hud put a trace on Kevin’s ATM and credit cards, and he got a hit at a gas station nearby. So, what we’ve established is that Kevin is guilty of having a life. Okay, I may be angry because his being alive has ruined my conspiracy theory; but my bruised ego aside, Hud is barking up the wrong tree.
Speak of the devil! Kevin is in Lakewood. The keyring hallucination led to Emma’s hospitalisation, and none other than her father came to see her. He tried to justify his abandonment and lack of communication, but Emma was not interested. Piper visited her the following morning and she confided in the podcaster about his reappearance and her reaction. As someone whose dad is never coming back, Piper offered her some good advice; “Second chances are rare. Don’t waste them.”
What do you think; should Brooke give her father a second chance? Holed up in a jail cell, pending charges, Maddox told his daughter the truth about the body. Her mother started using drugs again, and he found a friend of hers OD’d in the guestroom – no pulse and no I.D. He told Brooke he didn’t call for help because her mother’s secrets would have gotten out and destroyed her. “We are a family. If one of us gets hurt, we all get hurt.” I believe him, but that could be because I am an emotional mess following Will’s death. Brooke, however, does not, or rather she doesn’t care. The Maddox family is together in name, but not in spirit. That was cheesy… swiftly moving on.
Let us go to Noah and Audrey, who are trying to piece together the enigmatic puzzle that is Mr. Branson. Audrey questioned why Mr. B would take a job at a school instead of somewhere below the radar, and Noah explained that he is hiding in plain sight. “Think about it; his classroom is one-stop victim shopping. Pick one, slay one, console one, then repeat”. As for his criteria, Noah thinks it is archetypes. We have Nina, the queen bee. Tyler, the rebel. Riley, the brain. And Will, the jock. Okay, so what next, Noah? “If Branson’s thrill is hiding in plain sight and the classroom is his cover, then it stands to reason that he’d want his tools of the trade handy”. Is that snooping I see on the horizon?
Yes, yes it is. The crime fighting duo went to his classroom and found the potential murder weapon hidden in an air vent. Their ‘luck’ went from good to great as Noah got a hit on Mr. B’s real identity at that precise moment. They called Sheriff Hudson and told him who their teacher really was; “Back in 2013, he was teaching at this small liberal arts college in New Hampshire, when he had this affair with this gorgeous 18 year old girl. But then she turned up dead. Palmer was a suspect until he disappeared.” Also in the bag was the phone used to contact Riley before her death, and so Hud put out an APB on Mr. Branson.
Mr Branson wasn’t far. He was hooking up with Brooke in the school’s auditorium. Well, he was about to when he heard a noise and left her to investigate. Waiting on a lonesome couch in the middle of the stage, the curtains opened on Brooke. The lights went on and spotlight impaired her vision so that she could not see the killer coming her way. He slashed her arm, but no more. She went to escape, but Mr. B, who had been locked out and had to re-enter another way, appeared. As he held an injured and practically naked Brooke, the police burst in. I had forgotten that the slasher genre is a scapegoat upon scapegoat affair.
Thankfully, Emma is on to something better. She dreamt of the night her father left, specifically the argument that occurred immediately prior to his departure. The dispute was about the birth of a baby, and the choice Margaret had made regarding it. Emma awoke, or so she thought, and confronted her father. She assumed the fight was because he didn’t want her, but he told her that he wasn’t talking about her. Their conversation was still a dream, but a very telling one. Emma asked Audrey to send her the video they took at the abandoned hospital, and upon closer inspection of the x-rays that lined the walls, Emma noticed two ultrasounds labelled ‘Anderson’. She questioned her mother, and we learnt a doozy of a story.
“Our group was at the bowling alley one night, and I found out that he slept with one of my best friends”. ‘He’ is Kevin. “He heard me crying outside, and he drove me home”. Now ‘he’ is Brandon. Come on, keep up! “I was so hurt and angry, and he was so kind. It just happened.” I’m sure you know what she means, but I’m going to say it anyway – Brandon and Daisy slept together! That’s not all. She fell pregnant, and that is why she left Lakewood! She gave the baby up for adoption, but was kept out of the arrangements by her parents. Emma thinks the child has come back, and I think she is right.
New conspiracy! Well, a slightly altered version. Kieran is the baby that was given up for adoption, and he is taking revenge on the woman who gave him up and the child she chose to keep! I kind of hope I’m wrong because that would mean Kieran had sex with his sister. Gross.